Last night in Split

Most of the boys grabbed a quick kip on the bus back to Split whilst Ryan, Lisa and I chatted boobs and bodies. Back onboard Sarah showed me her wares from shopping (including a pretty little friendship bracelet for me) as I lolled on the bed, needing a nap but knowing I had no time. A shower pepped me up and we had a quick vodka before leaving - already late for the restaurant.

We headed to a pretty courtyard in Split where Louise had booked us in for dinner. Even though we were late - once again they hadn't the table ready (did they just not believe 18 of us would turn up?). We all got seated, ordered wine and beer and set about perusing the menu. Lisa and I were both looking for a bit of seafood and after tasting Lucie's delicious octopus salad starter we knew we had made a good decision. As one can probably imagine, being so coastal - seafood everywhere in Croatia is pretty much delicious. They do like to make it in pies and quiches though which isn't really my style. I prefer it on the grill with a bit of garlic and salt - and straight to my plate. More food and wine arrived, laughs were being had around the table. We tried to get Allan and Lisa to wear their new ti-shirts - Allan's was "Nude Lifeguard"! No one was thinking about the fact that it was our last night. We discussed future group activities - a ski/snowboard trip to Lebanon, the boys doing a triathlon, my solo trips to various places next year. The restaurant rustled up a kind of birthday cake (there seemed to be alot of cream or ice cream and not alot of cake) for Allan and it was time to make our way to the end of cruise party at a nearby bar.

Chloe and I after dinner.

I had to bid a sweet goodbye to Lisa as she was ill and flying very early and then Chloe and I went on our own little tour to find the bar, and perhaps a tattoo parlour on the way. We had decided on our first night to get tattoo's together but we couldn't decide on designs etc. There had been some joking at dinner that I would get the line from "Braveheart" - "This is my island" inked somewhere on my body but I thought that might be a future regret! I was contemplating some musical notes, a melody or riff - somewhere inconspicuous but there was no tattoo parlour in sight so we settled on some shots in a side street bar before finally reaching Cocktail Bar Paradiso for the Sail Croatia farewell party. There we hooked up with our super rep Janice and had a few drinks with her before the Jager train to top them all. In our usual tradition, it had to be bigger, better and longer than anyone else's. You'd know we lived in Dubai! I don't know how the number came about - I believe it was something to do with beating other boat's tallies but 62 was decided on. It took an hour and a half to set up (mainly because some muppet stood on the bench where it was being set up and knocked half the red bulls down).

Even in the photo we can spot some of our new friends!

After we'd all had a few and mingled with the strangers, it was time to embarrass Allan (It was difficult to know whether he was embarrassed or not as he was so sunburned! You can see him at the top of the picture there - darker than anyone else). Lauren (my friend in Dubai, dating Allan) had sent gifts from Dubai for Allan to open on the night and Gareth felt it only right to give the birthday boy a snog. I've never seen Allan snog a man before and to be honest I'm not sure it will happen again! I fitted in some time to kiss Sarah (She begged) and have a little dance around. I don't even remember the music. There may not have been music!

We walked back to the boat through picturesque rain-washed streets and decided to get our party on back onboard. Drink was acquired from various places, music was set-up on the top deck and deck-chairs were dragged around. Perfect for more dancing. Our fun didn't last long, the Captain came up and asked us to not to party. A little deflated but aware that he was being perfectly fair (He did have to get up every day and cook for us) Doug mentioned a beach nearby so we decided to bring the party there. Gary even let us borrow his speakers. The beach was a bit of a walk away so many got lost along the way and there was a weird crowd there (outsiders!) when we arrived. After a vodka I decided I would head back to the boat. I was a little disorientated and seemed to have lost alot of people so I thought it would be better to go back and find them.

I met Chloe as I got on deck and we sat down with Katie and Elliot just inside the hallway on a little sofa where they'd perched many nights of the trip. There were people running around the boat and from room to room as dawn broke and all I could think of was how I had to leave so many amazing people in a few hours - including my old (and new friends) from Dubai. I was exhausted, 7 nights of drinking was taking it's toll and I was all too aware that I had to be up in about 3 hours. It wasn't the best feeling.
Suffice to say, it only got worse before I left. I managed to only get about an hours sleep, and ended up packing in the most uncoordinated, horrible mindset I've ever been in. I wasn't quite hungover but I was definitely dehydrated, I wasn't quite sober but not happy drunk. It was dreadful. Meanwhile Sarah was singing around the cabin, still drunk and completely oblivious to the fact that we had to get up and out.
As I sat on a bench beside the boat (and found my pashmina tied around it?!) in the blazing morning sunlight watching Katie spew into the port I was hit by bags of rubbish as some of the crew removed them from the boat. That was pretty much how it felt - from top deck luxury to the gutter - all in a few hours.

It was a strange last night but an amazing trip that I'm sure none of us will ever forget...
Hvala na sjećanjima Hrvatskoj.

The sleepy little village of Trstenik - ... until we arrived.

I hadn't planned on making breakfast and I also missed out on practically everyone having a go at jumping off the boat! We were fed healthily again (Well we over-indulged in the first course of spaghetti as we were all starving having missed brekkie) at lunch and Penny, our new rep came onboard to let us know of various activities for the rest of the day and the following day.

We docked in the pretty little seaside village of Trstenik after lunch, where we'd been told to try the wine-tasting. That was music to our hungover ears, no better cure. We high-tailed it off the boat as soon as we docked and headed straight to the local wine cellar. 

It was a quaint little place that barely contained our group as we sampled their local red and white. The owner's son delivered his well rehearsed speech about their vineyards and wines punctuated by wild bursts from his crazy father who was wielding a large knife rather alarmingly (supposedly cutting bread). I didn't dare mention that the white wine wasn't great, but the others thought the red wine was fine. The owner had said that the vineyards were best placed for growing red grapes and he had 30, 000 acres so I'm sure he knew what he was talking about. His son encouraged us to come to the beach party later where he was the DJ and would play us some trance. We weren't sure of this invitation so we scuttled out and decided on a bit of a walk to shake out the cobwebs.

Up a steep hill we found staggering views and the boys ahead of us claimed they'd seen huge fish jumping out of the sea. It was absolutely peaceful, except for us girls sharing stories and occasionally leaping with fright at an empty snakeskin or huge buzzing insect. I managed to keep my cool (those who know of my previous "episodes" with bees/wasps will be pleased to know) and even wanted to explore off the beaten tracks but we were scared off it by other creatures coming out of the trees to investigate.

After our little adventure we thought it was time for drinks and ice-cream sundaes overlooking the tiny harbour. Other people from our boat were splashing around in the water, which looked very inviting. There was plenty of banter and giggles about the night before, particularly how one of the guys from our boat - Andre, had tried to pick Lisa up (literally). Bad move since Lisa has the strength of a lion (She's a kick boxer!) and pretty much ended up carrying him around the bar!

Back on the boat it was time for snoozing in the sunshine

 and showers. We were planning a quiet night and a few drinks on the deck as we knew Monday would be a big one in Dubrovnik. We started on cocktails - Zombies, Sex on the Beach etc and I suggested a game of "I have never". About ten of us were playing and suffice to say that some people should never be allowed around children and others should be closely monitored at work. There were also some painful stories about intimate parts being damaged. Louise and Katherine were very lucky they were asleep through it all!

By 11.30 a trip on a speedboat to a remote cove with trance music sounded like a great idea so we were herded onto a tiny boat, given our token free drink and off to the beach we sped. I ended up with my drink all over me but Sarah gave me hers to compensate. As soon as we were at the beach it was Jager time and I'd spotted a single pole on a table that looked like it needed me hanging off it. First I had a bit of a dizzy spell and Sarah tried to convince us all that our drinks were spiked. Ashley, from our boat, suggested that perhaps it had been the wild ride in the speedboat over? This was far more likely but it took me a little time to recover.

Then it was time for some pole dancing. 

I wanted to climb up it but was wary, as if I fell off it was straight onto concrete and into the water. With my reputation for injuring myself and silly decisions whilst drunk added to the dizzy spell I didn't exactly cut a striking figure on the pole. Lisa, however, really did. She was like a beautiful ballerina on it.

At midnight it had ticked over into Lisa's birthday so she celebrated by snagging me (with my predilection for blonde girls when I've had a few, this wasn't a problem) and carried Gareth off up the beach to show her strength. I believe some boys got kissed in that little bar but I didn't see anything so can't confirm!

Although some of our party had bailed early, a handful of us stayed til the end and giggled all the way home on the speedboat. Then it was time for high jinks in the cabins. Poor Ryan's sleep was interrupted as Allan, Katherine, Louise, Gareth, Lisa and myself bowled in and thought all of us in the bed would be great fun (Nothing kinky, just seemed fun at the time!). This didn't last very long, but for a time Lisa found a pillow on my breasts and we had a little snooze. Eventually we thought we should find Allan and tell him he could sleep in his own room without two lipstick lesbians in the bed beside him so we took off around the boat. It was early morning by the time Lisa and I retired to bed, exhausted from the nights shenanigans and we still had another night of her birthday to go. Onwards to Dubrovnik.

(Thanks to Doug Harding, Lucie Jurenova and myself for the photos!)

Heaven from Hvar - not very far.....

We boarded Futura, very excited; there were hugs, exclamations, running up and down corridors, running on and off the boat and much teenage behavior. I think Allan actually jumped from his door onto the bed in the Master Suite (Of course it was his - it was his birthday cruise!). Spirits were high and happily also being served in the bar. We ran across to the various stalls by the port to pick up hats, sunglasses, beach towels and anything else that had been forgotten or didn't fit into carry-on (in my case!). Then we all took our drinks top deck and started sun-bathing as we set sail towards Hvar.


Lunch was served (3 courses!) and we met our lovely Sail Croatia rep Janice. She was bright, bubbly and exotically pretty. We all adored her on sight. Luckily she was also a fount of great information and told us we were up for a great party night in Hvar. She promised a bottle of Jager at the first bar and we knew we were in for some fun. After a few more drinks in the sunshine people started retiring for snoozes. First to go was Gareth and then Allan so I started getting apprehensive. My plan had been to drink straight through but if these party animals were getting a nap in then maybe I wasn't ready for the mayhem planned. I had another vodka - just to be sure, and then decided a little lie-down wouldn't be the worst thing. There was talk of a hike to the Spanjola when we docked but sure we weren't there yet (and I also had a broken toe to contend with - yes, I managed to break my toe two nights before the trip). Off to our cabins we went.

That evening first stop was to fuel our bodies for the night ahead at the Mizarola Restaurant. The location was in a gorgeous main square and we were seated out on a terrace. I was beside Allan and opposite two girls from our boat who were rooming together but were strangers - Chloe and Laticia. There was much merriment and the food was delicious. The prawn gnochhi was tasty and much lighter than I thought. I got in deep conversation over some lovely chilled white wine, catching up with my Dubai friends until Gareth came tearing back down the street from the first bar, telling us we had to come down for the Jager Train in Nautica.

It was happily received as you can see above. The night got more raucous, with bottles of Jager and vodka and plenty of red bull. I found something high to dance on (always a good thing!) and the girls all got friendly! The tunes were pumping, everyone was sweaty and delirious and really just had all the contents for a brilliant night out.

Every so often I'd pop out for some fresh air and meet interesting people at the tables overlooking the harbour. There were many nationalities there other than Croatian - American, French, English, as well as a multitude of Kiwi's and Aussie's. What brings them so far?

Whilst some ventured off to "Pink Champagne" for dancing, Dave, Gareth and myself chilled out eating pizza on the waterside. We were joined by Katie from our boat and Elliott, who was on another one of the Sail Croatia boats. He was proudly displaying his shark bite from that day. I was skeptical but he did have huge bruised indentations on his thigh which didn't look human. We headed back to the boat for a late night drink on deck and contrary to everyone's expectations we all were in bed before 4am that night.

Hvar ticked many boxes for me - good food, great company and plenty of Jager and dancing. Night no.1 had been an enormous success and we had lazing in the sunshine to look forward to in Trstenik next day.

(Me posing in front of Beyonce's boat - well it might have been!)
Thanks to Doug Harding for these photo's - www.hardingphotographics.co.uk

Nocturnal Nottingham

Gareth spent most of his adult life in Nottingham - uni, work and married life, so we planned a night out to catch up with his mates there. Newly engaged Tanya and Jonny were nice enough to give us a bed for the night so we arrived there late in the afternoon (MUCH later than planned!) after a Toy's R Us visit and a new pair of jeans for me (as a slight aside - I'm sure most women will get this - nice new jeans are so hard to find!!). I'd met Jonny a few days previous over lunch in Manchester so had hasty introductions to Tanya and their cute little one, Jess and we bundled straight into Jonny's car to go off to the pub.

At the pub we met Nicole, David, Katie and Charlie in the lovely beer garden. Nicole and David are also very old friends with Gareth - they worked alongside him and Beki for years, and Gareth is godfather to their son Charlie. Charlie and Jess were absolutely adorable with each other, two gorgeous little blondes - like an Anne Geddes photo!

I was a little on edge, so keen to make a good impression, but I tried to relax over a few glasses of wine. Gareth and I also shared an amazing platter - funny how I always remember the food - there were skewers and a baked camembert, so bad for me yet too good to resist! Besides, I was on holiday!
Back at the house we got ready quickly (into my new jeans!) and headed into town. First stop looked like a real old man's pub, it was called The Golden Fleece; it was actually quite funky! It had a lovely roof terrace (which was too cold to sit out on for us Dubaians) and we met up with Tara and Matt. Gareth was keen to show me as much of Nottingham nightlife as possible so we also took in the Dragon, Saltwater and the Malt Cross. We didn't even get to half the places we'd planned but the drinks and conversation were flowing and various friends were popping by along the way so everyone was in high spirits. We tried and were refused shots in the Malt Cross - a travesty! Tara and I noticed the boys seemed a lot drunker than us but they seemed like they were having so much fun so we decided we'd better play catch-up. We headed up the road to The Cookie Club, where Gareth, feeling generous, paid for everyone to get in! Then it was time for vodka, red-bull and lollipops. I loved the Cookie Club, 3 floors of indie, chart and cheesy music. I make no apologies for enjoying a bit of cheese on a night out! Tara and I hit the dance floor and Gareth and I were even dancing out on the roof terrace - oh to be young and in love. Everyone was so friendly to me; I wondered what I had been apprehensive about. Having said that, it's a difficult situation - Gareth and Beki were together for over 10 years and I didn't want anyone to think that I was trying to replace her and don't have the utmost respect for her memory. I think everyone could see that we made each other happy; and I guess after Gareth having such a loss it was great to see him in such high spirits. As ever on a night out, he was friendly to one and all, striking up a conversation with some guys who had arrived in wearing suits. I noticed that they didn't seem that friendly when he lay down in front of them, messing around and I was a little alarmed so Tara stepped in to calm the situation. Gareth had been bottled in Nottingham last year and I think I felt a little nervous about Nottingham - although the same could happen in any city unfortunately. They really didn't seem like nice types; maybe too much beer that night so we gathered everyone up and headed for kebabs.

There were more high-jinks at the kebab shop. Matt and Gareth were play-acting a bit and Matt told Gareth to punch him in the head. Why? No idea - it seemed like good fun at the time! Matt kept insisting so eventually Gareth gave in - he's very easily persuaded after a few drinks. I'm not sure everyone in the kebab shop took it in the same spirit so we quickly got out of there and into a taxi. I was seriously flagging at this point - sometimes I just want to get home, so I devoured my kebab and was straight up the stairs into bed back at Jonny and Tanya's. Gareth, being the lovely boyfriend, was up to bed very shortly afterwards and we passed out into dreamless sleep after the mad night in Nottingham. Next morning Matt had a lovely purple egg-shaped shiner on his forehead, but was a total gentleman about it. Gareth felt awful about it but we all knew it was just a funny reminder of a good night out! I'm sure it's healed by now; what a good sport.

So it was onwards to the country-side for us, and a baby shower to attend.